


muse

by huanggf



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: High School, M/M, Minor Chensung, art student renjun, goth jisung, lowkey angst, nomin at beginning lol, renmin, side nohyuck, soccer player/jock jaemin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-02 08:21:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17260832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/huanggf/pseuds/huanggf
Summary: na jaemin has fallen in love with so many people. mark lee, the stereotypical mysterious boy with the motorcycle and leather jacket. lee donghyuck, the popular, outgoing, radiant boy. wong yukhei, the class clown and football captain. lee jeno, the pretty boy with thousands of instagram followers. he’s dated them all, and they’ve all left him heartbroken.“it’s not you, it’s me,” they’ve said. “i’m just not ready for a relationship,” he’s heard.and the one he hated the most, “you deserve someone better.”he thought that was ridiculous.





	1. Chapter 1

prologue... 

a few of na jaemin’s favorite things included; daisies, the smell of peppermint, long summer night drives, the peacefulness of the library late in the afternoon, the rush of a soccer game, and being young and in love. if you knew jaemin, you know that he loved to be in love. he loved the idea of being in love. however, he has fallen in love so many times with the wrong people. 

the first was mark lee. jaemin was a freshman at the time, naive, young and full of energy. mark lee was a mysterious junior who spent his days smoking cigarettes and riding his motorcycle, always clad in a leather jacket. jaemin loved the idea of mark lee, and not long after meeting, they were dating. jaemin would never forget riding on the back of mark’s motorcycle, his arms wrapped around the older boy’s waist. unfortunately, the two were polar opposites, but they didn’t care. after all, they were in love. they didn’t know at the time that their extreme differences would lead to the end of the relationship. 

the second was wong yukhei. the senior captain of the SMHS football team and class clown. girls swooned over him in the hallway, but yukhei never looked at them. his eyes were set on sophomore na jaemin, whose pink hair would catch anyone’s attention. yukhei could’ve gotten anyone he wanted; he had the pick of the litter, but, for some reason, he chose jaemin. jaemin spent the entire autumn of his sophomore year either at soccer or at friday night football games, clad in yukhei’s hoodies and jean jackets, holding a sign with yukhei’s name and number on it, cheering him on the whole game. but, it turns out, yukhei thought a pretty little cheerleader was better at cheering him on than jaemin was, so the relationship ended just before the end of the football season. 

the third was lee donghyuck. they were both juniors when they met at a basketball game, cheering for different teams. donghyuck bumped into jaemin, causing him to drop his freshly bought pretzel. donghyuck apologized and bought him another pretzel. the two clicked instantly. however, jaemin constantly felt outshined by donghyuck, who was radiant and outgoing. donghyuck constantly felt like shy and quiet jaemin was holding him back. needless to say, they didn’t stay together long. 

since the summer, lee jeno. jaemin and jeno had known each other since elementary school, but had hardly started talking until the beginning of the summer between junior and senior year. the two spent their summer falling in love slowly over picnics and carnival rides. when school started, they were the school’s ‘it couple’ because of how wildly popular jeno was. they were so in love, and jaemin knew jeno was the one he was meant to find. 

he was wrong.


	2. chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jaemin meets a peculiar character.

school started the same way it always did; jaemin drove himself to school in his small red car, with an ed sheeran album playing that could hardly be heard over the hum of the car’s engine. the thin hairs on the back of his neck rose upon being exposed to the cool autumn air when he stepped out of his car, making his way to the school’s entrance. he smiled, waving to familiar faces and stopping to talk to certain people. he went to jeno’s locker after he collected the belongings he needed for class, but jeno surprisingly wasn’t there. 

that’s strange, jaemin thought, jeno is always here. he shrugged it off, just assuming the other boy had slept in. he shot jeno a text as he walked to his first period class, saying good morning and mentioning that he wasn’t at his locker. he kept his head down as he typed away on his phone, adding extra heart emojis at the end of the text to his boyfriend. his phone fell from his hands as another figure bumped into him, several pieces of paper falling from the other person’s hands, scattering across the hallway. jaemin looked up, apologizing, to see a nearly unfamiliar face. 

the boy had dark brown shaggy hair, with thick framed glasses on his face. he laughed sheepishly before crouching down to pick up jaemin’s phone. “sorry! i wasn’t watching where i was going,” he said, handing jaemin’s phone to him. “it didn’t crack, though!” 

jaemin smiled before shoving his phone back into his pocket. he kneeled down to help pick up the papers that were scattered across the floor. “let me help you.” 

the other boy’s face turned bright red. “you don’t have to-“ he couldn’t get the words out before jaemin found the piece of paper he was hoping he wouldn’t find. 

all of the blood in jaemin’s body rushed to his face as he looked down at a piece of paper that the glasses-wearer had dropped. it was a beautifully drawn sketch. a sketch of jaemin. 

the other boy yanked the paper out of jaemin’s hands. he put it in the stack of all of the other papers hastily before looking back up at jaemin, a tight smile on his red face. 

“why did you-“ the other boy interrupted jaemin before he could finish his question. 

“you’re in my study hall,” the boy with glasses said. “i get bored, so i draw the people in that class.” 

“i’ve never seen you before,” jaemin said. 

the boy with glasses laughed, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck. “i get that a lot,” he said sheepishly. “i’m huang renjun.” 

jaemin had heard of huang renjun, mainly when the school announcements had anything to do with art competitions, but he never paid much attention. he wasn’t interested in artists. 

“i have to get to class,” renjun said, a bright smile on his face. he stood up, and jaemin followed. he handed jaemin the sketch of himself. “you can keep this, if you want.” 

jaemin accepted the paper, thanking renjun. “see you in study hall!” 

“yep!” renjun called, already halfway down the hallway. 

jaemin continued down the hallway, towards his first period. 

what a strange character, he thought. 

he wasn’t complaining, though.


	3. chapter 2

jaemin entered into his first period class as the bell was ringing. he flinched upon hearing it. 

“ah, mr. na,” the teacher said, who was prehistoric and wore round framed glasses. “nice to see that you decided to join us.” 

everyone in the classroom’s eyes were on him. he smiled awkwardly and nodded at the teacher before walking to his seat. he sat all of the way in the back, next to a younger student named park jisung. 

jisung was definitely a sight to see early in the morning. he wore checkered vans, extremely ripped black jeans (don’t forget the chain attached!) and a tucked in white t-shirt. he wore three silver necklaces and black nail polish. his sharp eyes were outlined with black eyeliner. he almost looked intimidating, but jaemin only knew him as a sarcastic, sassy son of a bitch. 

“good morning,” jaemin said, smiling. he put his books on his desk and sat down. 

jisung twirled a piece of his short hair around his finger as he popped a bubble of gum with his teeth. “mornin’.” 

the teacher wrote down book pages on the board. “read them,” he paused. “or don’t. i don’t care either way.” he went back to his desk and picked up a book. the class immediately started chatting. 

jisung scoffed, opening his book. “old bastard.” 

jaemin nodded in response. he wanted to read the pages, but he knew jisung would want to talk about something. the younger student sat back in his seat, propping his feet on his desk, almost kicking the girl in front of him in the head. 

“how are you and pretty boy doing?” jisung asked, popping another bubble. he raised his eyebrow when jaemin didn’t respond. “something wrong?” 

“he wasn’t at school this morning,” jaemin sighed. “and he’s not answering my texts.” 

as of on cue, jaemin’s phone buzzed. he picked it up instantly. a text from jeno. 

it read, “meet me outside the bathroom rn. we need to talk.” 

“what does it say?” jisung asked, trying to see jaemin’s screen. jaemin read it out loud to him. 

jisung looked the other way, leaning further into his chair. “game over,” he sang. 

“don’t say that,” jaemin hissed, stuffing his phone in his pocket. 

“nothing good ever comes out of ‘we need to talk,’” jisung noted. he blew a bubble before popping it again. 

jaemin stood to go attempt to get a hall pass from the old fart. “try to be positive, okay?” he glared at jisung. “just this once.” 

jisung put his hands behind his head, closing his eyes. “no promises, nana.” 

jaemin walked away, and successfully got a hall pass from the old teacher (it took a lot of bickering). he slowly made his way to the bathroom. once jeno came into his view, it was like he fell in love all over again. 

jeno was tall, but not too tall. he had a sharp jawline and pretty eyes that smiled along with with lips. he wore simple blue jeans and a red hoodie with white sneakers. his hair was messy but still cute. he was staring down at his phone until he heard jaemin approaching. he looked sad. 

jaemin frowned. “are you okay?” 

jeno smiled and kissed him quickly. “i’m fine.” 

jaemin felt like a middle schooler everytime jeno kissed him. it made him giddy. “what do you need to talk about?” 

jeno’s eyes immediately darted to the ground. jaemin knew something was wrong. 

“well,” jeno started, taking a deep breath. he stared at jaemin’s shoes. “i feel like i’m being unfair to you.” 

jaemin furrowed his eyebrows. “what?” he asked. he hoped this wasn’t going where he thought it was. 

“i feel like i don’t give you the attention you deserve, you know?” jeno said. he finally looked jaemin in the eyes. “i don’t deserve someone like you.” 

“jeno,” jaemin whispered. he felt like he was going to cry. “stop it.” 

he didn’t stop. “you deserve someone better.”

not that. why did he say that? of all the things he could’ve said, he said the exact same words as mark lee, who jaemin had shoved so far back into his mind that he felt almost nonexistent. 

“stop,” jaemin mumbled. tears were streaming down his cheeks. “please stop.” 

“jaemin,” jeno consoled. “you know i love you.” 

wrong. he knew jeno didn’t love him really. how can you do this to someone you love? it made no sense to jaemin, who could no longer control his tears. 

jaemin rolled his eyes, which were full of tears. “be honest,” he pleaded. jeno looked hesitant. “please be honest.” 

jeno sighed. “i met someone. she goes to another school.” 

“she?” jaemin asked, his voice small. 

“jaemin, you know my parents don’t approve of me,” jeno said. “if i have a girlfriend, they’ll let me go to my college of choice. but if i have you, i might as well kiss my future away.”

jaemin wanted to be angry. he wanted to kick and scream until he couldn’t kick or scream anymore, but he held it inside. “oh.” 

“i’m sorry,” jeno mumbled. 

“don’t say that.” 

jaemin was practically fuming. he couldn’t bear to look at jeno. jeno placed his fingers under jaemin’s chin, making him look him in his eyes. hot, heavy tears streamed down jaemin’s cheeks. his eyebrows were knitted. 

jeno kissed him again, this time longer and more passionate than ever. it was half angry (jaemin) and half apologetic (jeno). jaemin wanted to pull away. he didn’t want to kiss jeno, not like this. but he couldn’t pull away, no matter how hard he tried. jaemin was unfortunately head over heels in love with him. jeno finally pulled away. more tears came. 

“fuck you, lee jeno.” 

that was the only thing jaemin could figure out to say. jeno looked hurt momentarily before forcing a soft smile. 

“i love you, na jaemin.” 

and then he was gone. he turned and walked back to his class, leaving jaemin outside of the bathroom, crying. 

what an asshole. 

jaemin rushed into the bathroom. he stood in front of a mirror. his eyes were red, and fat tears slid down his pink face. he kept crying, hunching over the sink. he didn’t care who saw. he sobbed and sobbed for what felt like years.

until he felt a tap on his shoulder. 

he looked up to see the boy with glasses from earlier. huang renjun. jaemin quickly wiped his eyes and nose with his sleeve. 

“are you okay?” renjun asked, his eyes big. 

jaemin laughed at him. “do i look okay?” 

renjun took the question literally. “uh, no...” 

“i just got dumped,” jaemin sniffed, turning back to the mirror. 

“oh,” renjun said, his eyes trailing away from jaemin. “i’m sorry.” 

“it’s okay,” jaemin said. renjun knew it wasn’t okay. “now he’s dating some girl because his homophobic parents wouldn’t pay for his college if he has a boyfriend…” 

jaemin laughed again. the whole situation was so sad it was kind of funny. “fucking liar. he knows any dumbass college in a thousand mile radius would give him a full fucking ride.” 

renjun winced at jaemin’s language. 

jaemin noticed the wince. “sorry,” he mumbled, looking at renjun through the mirror. 

“he?” renjun asked. he raised his eyebrows in a playful manner. 

“yep,” jaemin sighed. he pointed at himself. “i’m a homo.” 

renjun’s cheeks went red. “oh…” 

“ah,” jaemin smirked. “you too?” 

renjun quietly nodded. “halfway.” 

“nice,” jaemin teased, smiling. 

the two were quiet for awhile as jaemin quickly washed his face using the sink. he tried to make his eyes as normal looking as possible, but he didn’t really care at this point. renjun watched him quietly. jaemin didn’t mind the company. 

“well,” jaemin sighed. “see ya later, junnie.” 

renjun waved goodbye as jaemin walked towards the door. 

“maybe we’ll meet again in an awkward time and place again,” jaemin giggled, winking quickly at renjun before leaving the bathroom. 

he hoped they would.

**Author's Note:**

> omg i’ve never uhh written an fic on here before so uhhh lmao hope y’all like it


End file.
